Happy 2nd Birthday Owen!!

Dear Owen,

Mommy has been wanting to write you a letter for a while. I talk to you every single day but I don't usually write anything down.

First of all let me wish you the most wonderful, happy, joyous, fun birthday that you can have. I know you are celebrating with all your friends in Heaven ( especially Addie!) It makes Mommy so sad that we could not be together today. I know that you wouldn't have been able to eat cake or ice cream but I wish we could have let you try to blow out the candles and let you hear everyone sing you Happy Birthday.

Since we can not have you here we are going to celebrate your birthday in a new way. We are all going to Grammie's house this morning. We bought a ton of beautiful, bright balloons for you. We are each going to write you a little message and attach them to the balloons and send them up to Heaven. We bought all the colors of the rainbow and also some special Mickey ones since he was your very favorite. I bought a "2" candle and since we are having coffee and donuts we will stick it in a chocolate one and sing to you. I will make sure everyone sings really loud so that you can hear it up there!!

Of course Mommy is sitting here crying as I write this to you. I just want you to know that I miss you so much- it breaks my heart that we had to let you go. I know you are in a better place and free from hurting and machines but I would give anything to just hold you in my arms and see your beautiful smile one more time.

The thing that I miss most about you was our special Mommy and Owen time in the morning. Every time I close my eyes the first thing that pops in to my head about you was your shining, smiling face every morning when I went to get you out of your crib. You were usually already awake. You would hear me coming and turn your head the best that you could to look at me entering your room. Every single day you would just look up at me with the most beautiful face. I will never forget that for as long as I live. We would unhook all the machines that you needed through the night. As we did that we would sing our two good morning songs and you laughed through them both. Next I would pick you up and dance you to the rocking chair. We would sit and rock for a bit and sing "The wheels on the bus" your favorite song. Then it was down the stairs and we did our counting the whole way down ( 15 steps) if I forgot to count you would let me know and I would have to go up and start from the beginning. This special quiet time that we shared each morning is one of my most treasured times with you. I think about it all the time. I hope you remember it as fondly as I do! ( I know you do because the laugh and smile on your face during it all is so vivid in my memory!)

More than anything Owen I want you to know how amazingly proud we are of you. I am so thankful and blessed that I got to be your mommy!! I love you with all my heart and miss you more and more everyday. Please enjoy your birthday and know that we will be celebrating your short but very meaningful life today. Watch out for the balloons around 11am!! We will be sending our love and messages up to you today! Mommy loves you so much! xoxo

Love, Mommy